one of my most painful lessons of the past 10 years is around a type of problem that will never go away completely…
#1: the audiobook of “From Impossible” is FINALLY live, through Audible!
#2: in Brazil? Predictable Revenue‘s out now in Portuguese! & i’ll be in Sao Paolo in August doing a workshop with HSM.
#3: i’m in SanFran today…here for the SaaStr conference hosting 3 panels in a row later this morning. if you’re here check them out, and then meet me at the Predictable Revenue booth afterwards on the ground floor, and find out about a special Acceleration Team SaaStr-only deal .
it’s SO EASY to put off that painful conversation, or writing that book or newsletter, filming that video, firing that employee, committing to that scary goal…
it’s SO EASY to pull up netflix, or the news, or facebook/instagram, or a drink…
JUST DO IT. the more you learn how to jump TO your fear, rather than avoid it or run away, the better life gets. not “easier”…but better.
one of my hardest situations has been jumping into the problem when something serious isn’t working out with a spouse (i’ve been divorced) or business partner (broken up with several).
i’ve let the fear of loss blind or paralyze me to the fact that it wasn’t working…
and the longer i put that off, the worse it got.
but here’s what happened, time and again – whether it was a divorce 10 years ago, or business partner changes/evolutions many times…
once we had that painful conversation(s), sometimes it got easier right away.
sometimes it got HELLA PAINFUL right away, but easier much later.
either way, it got better, much better – even if at the time i didn’t see or feel how that’d work out.
i wish i’d learned this lesson in my 20’s, before my first tech startup LeaseExchange…i had a toxic partner who didn’t work out, and i didn’t know how to handle it…so i avoided it. (if you read Predictable Revenue, you might remember me writing that i’d go home on Fridays to have some drinks and play videogames to decompress from the shit every week.)
this kind of problem will NEVER go away – no matter what we do, there will always be relationships that evolve and change and need re-breaking or re-freshing.
so besides “get into it”, here’s a mini-exercise i found super helpful in dealing with that kind of change.
first, i list all my fears and anxieties, like when a past business partner didn’t work out.. here are some real examples:
* there will be a lot more work i will have to do, i’ll lose flexibility and time
* it’ll be really hard to train anyone else
* i won’t be able to do it all alone
* i did something wrong
and then, the possible benefits of the change – painful as it may be –
* my partner was a perfectionist, slowing us down
* was controlling of technology (slowed us down)
* made things too complicated
* i won’t have to share revenue
for example, doing this help me get over and reframe a painful loss into…acceptance…within a day or two. much faster than if i’d just keep barreling ahead, and didn’t stop to process it.
both steps are important. i’ve found that fears and anxieties that bubble beneath the surface in my head cause more problems then when i bring them into the light, say in making a list this way. i
it’s really the same as when, as a kid, you’re afraid of the monster under the bed (or me – i was afraid of the one in the closet)…until you turn on the light, and see there’s a lot less there than you were afraid of.
as always, email me back here.
ps: if you’ve read “From Impossible”, we always appreciate more reviews on Amazon please!
ps: with a big family of 11 kids (well, 10 plus a baby girl is coming this month!), we have our share of fighting, bickering and behavior frustrations… but they seem to get less every year, and having a big family also is SO FUN, like this with 7 of them (can you see Vicky?):